all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
