My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
