Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
