I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
is that a dick in a sweater?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize