I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize