she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
