I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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