just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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