How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
