I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
fuck your aforementioned shoe
bring money and cleavage
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
