you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
