i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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