I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
