you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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