Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
