I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
