He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize