Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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