I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
where are my eyebrows?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
