Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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