rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize