In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry about my life...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
