On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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