hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
