3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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