none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
