I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
