my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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