yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize