there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
