I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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