He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
