So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
