If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
More tranny stories later!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize