You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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