I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
