There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize