I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
