Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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