What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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