lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
