So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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