marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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