brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
