im drinking this country out of the recession.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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