By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
