whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
