I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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