The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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