There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
