If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
