ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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