I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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