haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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