she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
