awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
