i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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