He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
false alarm. still invincible.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize