Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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