i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
