the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
