dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
