I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
